Sry I called you an 8
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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