Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
