So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
