Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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