You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
