Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
