I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
