"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
