Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
