Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
