i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
