Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
True strength comes from lack of pants
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
