is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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