We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
