I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
