I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
