also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just tell him i said nine months
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
