My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
