Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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