toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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