What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
