Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
