I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
