omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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