I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
