I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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