check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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