Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
