I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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