Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
