he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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