OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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