at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
