"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
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Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
