ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
