Are we in a gay sports bar?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
