Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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