Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
