i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
