haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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