just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
