Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
