i love accidental penises.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
