I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
This toilet bowl is my home.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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