ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
and i looked up. we had an audience...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
