Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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