My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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