sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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