I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
