Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
