the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
